美しい圧倒

Language is one of the most fascinating human elements - sometime between trying to apologize to the woman I bumped on the train and pointing at a McDonald's picture menu to order breakfast I realized how precious verbal communication is, but that other universal forms of communication can compensate when required (no no... McGriddles with Sausage - #3 - this many (holding up 3 fingers), yes meal... Orange Juice, to-go... take away). There's something so elemental about communicating on a 2 year old's level - it's 1 part humbling and 1 part invigorating.

Simply put, Japan is beautifully overwhelming.

During my layover in Osaka, I tried 3 ATM machines, 3 debit/credit cards, successfully combining an HSBC debit card with a brithly colored anime interface to withdrawal 25,000 YEN (think $250 - just divide by 100 and you're close enough for personal financial decisions). I used the Yen with a pixelated map of Shinigawa to convince my taxi to take me to the Le Meridien Pacific and NOT the Le Meridien Grand Pacific (somewhere some marketing genius is having a good laugh). It was 8:00pm when I stopped unpacking and headed downstairs for dinner at TGIFridays, far too exhausted from my trip to get adventurous. Never has a bacon burger with a draft beer tasted so delicious... bacon + beer helped compensate for the annoying "high roller" expat next to me who wouldn't stop reminding me that I was sitting in a seat reserved for a "hot Japanese girl"... did he mention that he played rugby with South Africa's captain and is friends with an owner of the New Jersey Devils?

I met my friend at the Shinagawa train station at 7:30am on Monday morning, bought a train pass, and rattled our way 5 stops to Tsurumi station. We walked through tight alleyways until making a sharp right into the engineering office. 4 hours of work passed and we were on our way back up the road to a local noodle house. My buddy opened the sliding door and we snuck into the back corner stools as we were showered with plenty of Japanese "welcome, thanks for coming, what can we get you" - or so I surmised. We ordered by numbers and pictures, picking up on the theme yet?, and a large bowl of chanpon-men (soup with Ramen noodles and meat) was rushed out to our corner of the bar table. I had been studying the other customers in preparation for the meal, so I knew better than to ask for a spoon; I cracked my chopsticks tilted the bowl and began slurping down lunch. Highly recommend the #1. Only one setback, when I went to open the small door to leave, I apparently missed the "push the small green button" sign, and subsequently ran face first into the automatic door, which conveniently enough opened upon my impact... note to self.

This morning I set out on my own to master the train system, and managed 30 pages in Prince Caspian (3rd book in the Chronicles of Narnia series - light hearted read for the 15 minute ride). I have fallen in love with the trains... an affordable system that gets me to and from work or the nightlife and allows me to use my commute to read/sleep/chat/people watch. Not that I and my 4 minutes commute in Doha have much room to talk, but I will certainly enjoy that aspect of Tokyo.

Other improvements in Tokyo:

1. Faucets turn on by pushing the lever down (not up), a nice option when you're hands are soapy and you have to use your elbow

2. Snack machines every block, so you're never more than a few steps away from a Kiwi Kit-Kat or refreshing Pocari Sweat. If that wasn't convenient enough, you can stop by any of the AMPMs or 7/11s to pick up some snacks

3. Combination toilet and bidet - although I choose to only use the first option, it does remove the complicated "transition" out of the dual commode bathroom - perhaps encouraging the bidet fearful of a trial run. Heated seat is also a nice option

4. Clouds & Rain (in moderation) - a welcome respite from 60 days of sunshine

5. Smiles - everyone here smiles, even if they aren't happy (you know who are), definitely contagious

6. Environmental consciousness: Al Gore would be proud of the countless recycle bins, bicycles, sensor lights in the office, and mass transit systems... I have yet to see a single piece of trash on the street or train station

No place is perfect:

1. Smoking is EVERYWHERE - makes me wish I'd brought my pipe. While enjoying my McGriddle sandwhiched between two chainsmokers I had a flashback to busy Friday lunches at Cracker Barrel where we would sit in the smoking section to avoid the wait and enjoy some second smoke with our omlets

2. Remember those environmental bicyclists - well they use the sidewalks as private lanes and a single chime on the bell is your only warning to dive out of the way... replacing the flash of headlights in Doha

3. A few days in town and you'll realize why my shower hits me chest high, won't be hard for Sheri to pick me out in the crowd... and the bathroom sinks at work seem about 3rd grade level (for the teachers who have to stoop down during recess)
4. I don't plan on driving in Tokyo anytime soon, walking is hard enough. Forget what mom told you about looking left right then left again - a hard habit to break until the first time you nearly step in front of a bus
5. The temperature is quite misleading - 82 degrees sounded like jacket weather, until you consider the humidity, which after a 10 minute walk from the train station can create a mess out of business casual... and the environmentalists keep the air turned off in the office until we arrive - so it takes a good 20 minutes to cool down and towel off.

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I ventured further into Tokyo tonight - reaching the famous Shibuya station and the busiest intersection in the world (picture above). I toured the largest Tower Records, 7 stories separated by genre of music and a rather extensive English bookstore to boot. Dinner at Torigin (small chain restaurant with ENGLISH menus - deciding factor) consisted of Yakitori (skewers of flavorful chicken), and Kamameshi (rice casserole) with a side of Edomome still on the stalk. An authentic and delicious end to an eventful first two days in Tokyo. I'm excited for Sheri's arrival and the weekend to really dig in and explore this amazing city.

Sound Familiar?

To get filled in on the latest adventure you'll need to pull out that link to babel fish again - unless you know how to read Japanese (http://babelfish.altavista.com/ and remember you can just type in the blog web address to translate the text instead of having to copy and paste it into the box)!

私は私の2 週の出張のための東京に飛ぶことを約ある。うまく行けば私は平面で休み、冒険の準備ができた日本で着くことができる。東京の観光の名所を探検するためにSheri は私を今週末頃結合する。私は英語を... 話すだれでも見つけることを困難にする日本に大いにより大きい言語ギャップがあることを聞いた私はよいポストの上がを感じる。人あなたの週末の残りを楽しむことを望みなさい。さようなら。

Interesting how backtranslating text using the same website that translated it in the first place can create such alarming confusion... all the better for YOU to comment on what you think I actually meant in the first place.

The boring short version - I'm off for Japan and I feel a few adventurous posts waiting there. Enjoy the rest of your weekend - unless you're in Doha, in which case enjoy the start to your work week in 9 hours!

A City of Kobes

To avoid sounding too pessimistic, I've decided to balance each negative post about Doha with a marginally positive one... so after the insurance rant, I'll offer that this morning I may have realized why our cars here don't offer the familiar "honk" when you lock the doors with the key fob. The lights flash, but no noise - which can take some adjustemtn for those who would lock the car as they walked away, counting on the horn to confirm secure lockdown. While there's no shortage of horn usage on the roads in Doha, we've gone nearly two month in Doha without hearing the rythmic serenade of a car alarm. In a town where Ferrari's regularly parallel park between gypsy vans and oversized Land Cruisers you'd think a car alarm company would do quite well for itself - quite to the contrary. Since crime is almost nonexistant (I wouldn't risk my hand...), Qataris have actually figured out that car alarms cry wolf nearly 95% of the time (source: completely trustworthy internet site) and that an audible alert won't stop a trained auto thief anyways. 2 cars were reported stolen in Doha last year. It appears that the solution to auto theft lies in the punishment, not a Viper alarm.

Kudos to Qatar for unexpectedly leading the fight against audible car alarms - somewhere, someone from our old neighborhood is clapping.

Likewise, I recently heard that the fine for running a red light in Doha was raised to nearly $1000 for a first offense; certainly heightened my awareness. So why do the locals keep running lights and speeding around town so aggressively? Because the punishment doesn't hurt enough... it's like fining Kobe Bryant $10,000 for swearing on television; he could pawn his watch and have change left over for dinner. Unless they are brave enough to take away licenses, hand out jail time, or convert to a highly complex percentage of income fine (so that Kobe pays the "same" as the rest of us), the only effective deterrant from aggressive driving is the physical impact of the accidents themselves, and by then it's too late.

In other news, I'm heading to Tokyo on a last minute business trip (there are worst places to be sent on 4 days notice). Sheri wil join me for a few days midway through the 2 week stay, so we should have plenty of material for the blog... a good thing since our ratings appear to be plummeting with the every-other-day approach and high summer temperatures.

Demotivation

I wonder who came up with the idea of insurance – in it’s perfect form, insurance is a lot like gambling for the really high roller.

You pay me money each month and in return I’ll agree to pay you a much larger value of money should something terrible happen to you. Typically the amount you pay me each month is based on two things – 1) how much money you want if something goes wrong and 2) the probability of something going wrong.

In the US, if you want car insurance you pay a premium each month. You provide the value of the car, choose the level of coverage, choose how much you’re willing to chip in if something happens (deductible) and I run a background check to verify your driving record, looking for any previous accidents/claims or citations. The system mirrors capitalism, those who receive more insurance payouts should have to pay higher premiums or get cut out all together.

In Doha, I’ve learned that the government not only regulates gas prices (good), it also regulates insurance (bad). If you want car insurance you simply pay a certain % of your car’s appraised value each year and bingo, you’re covered. When it comes time to renew your insurance (typically annually), your car’s value is depreciated 20%, your premium decreases 5% and bingo, you’re covered for another year. Obvious Catch#1: your car’s resale depreciates about 10% annually, so each year you’re coverage is artificially reduced while your premium hardly changes. Obvious Catch#2 these formulas are nearly universal – that means that if you manage to go an entire year in Doha without an accident or claim (good luck), your coverage behaves the same as someone who totals 5 Land Cruisers. Someone has to pay for those 5 Land Cruisers, and if everyone’s insurance formula is the same, disregarding prior accident history or citations, everyone shares the burden equally. Isn’t equality great…

On second thought, as long as you can take the initial hit of a large claim and pass that cost on to your customers... insurance suddenly looks a lot like a pack of marlboros or a tank of gas, you've gotta have it - and you're willing to pay for it. The very things we resent are often the things we sustain.

Sweat the Small Stuff

I got lost on the way to my meeting downtown today. Apparently the judicial building looks an awful lot like our main office complex. Luckily I left plenty of "parking time" in my schedule and a security guard pointed me in the right direction – Northwest for those playing at home. Since traffic was bumper to bumper I decided to hoof it and avoid gridlock. Unluckily my meeting was at 1:30 in the afternoon and the daytime high temperature was hovering around 115F with sandy winds blowing 30mph and a UV Warning in place… so by the time I arrived at the correct building with 2 minutes to spare I looked like I’d just participated in the new desert biathlon event, the one that combines running a marathon with sand volley ball. I should have found a restroom to rinse my face (and teeth), but in my desire to reach the meeting on time I went straight to the 5th floor conference room. I wiped my brow and upper lip with my shirt sleeve before turning the corner – thinking "that should take care of it, I’m in air conditioning now".

Despite my best attempts I was the last to arrive for the meeting, so we began as I sat down. No glass of water, not a breath of air conditioning, and it was at this point that I began to feel the longer term effects of my 10 minute walk in the sun. My body was radiating heat at an incredible pace – like when you’re trying to go to sleep with a bad sunburn. 5 minutes into the meeting I had BEADS of sweat on my forehead, lip, arms, and back… quite visible for all participants – but I was representing my supervisor, so I couldn’t just skip out. I muscled through the hour and a half discussion, and as I got up to leave the Qatari next to me asked if I "needed" a glass of water, which I respectfully declined using some witty comment about growing up in Arizona… cactus… etc. I was just happy to get out of the room before they started asking if I needed to lie down. For others struggling with mid-meeting sweat, either from nervous energy, poor personal hygene, or long walks in the desert - I found a great natural remedy (ad attached above). *For those who've met my dad, doesn't it appear that he modeled headbands in a previous life (think Harrison Ford - scar).

In other news, Sheri pulled weeds for an hour this morning – about 2 hours before I went for my downtown jog. I feel a four wisdom tooth post coming up.

Key Business Drivers

I've decided to target posting bi-daily, which can mean twice a day or once every other day depending on your handling of the English language. In this case it refers to the latter - the every other day one. Like any good oil & gas employee, or politician caught in an embarasing scandal I intend to layout the key business drivers (aka excuses) that led me to this difficult decision:

1. I am running out of material

2. Good posts are like fine wine, they get more comments with age - and I want to give my readers' ample time to post their own thoughts and expriences (did Brent fall off the Earth?)

3. I can use the extra time for other hobbies like productive work in the office, and going home on time.

4. You can use the extra time to explore other excellent blogs (http://dilbertblog.typepad.com/ for instance)... Scott Adams has a lot more to say about life than quirky office humor.

5. I will still post whenever there is something interesting to share, this just resets your expectations to prevent disappointment and gives you more time to digest the posts.

Also keep your eyes on the right border for other fun lists and links, since those are easier and less work to update... don't forget to keep your 5 song shuffles coming (to clarify it's 5 straight random audio files in a row, so silence, comics, or movie clips count).

Restoration Pottery Pier and Barrel

I have learned some valuable lessons through my first 30 posts:

1. Weekend posts are dangerous because blogs typically appeal to an audience trapped at their desk desperately searching for a creative outlet – not an audience sleeping in, going to the pool, or out at the mall

2. Don’t make blogs interactive, even if they pay tribute to Bob Barker’s retirement. It’s always best to let the comments be spontaneous and not pressure the audience into responding to questions or games.
3. Comment Count is the only key performance indicator of a post's success

With those valuable lessons under my belt let’s continue with today’s post:

Following 2 weeks of anticipation, Sheri picked up her Honda MR-V (Pilot) last night, and after the light body work it looks brand new. She and her expat friends are happy with the new found freedom the SUV brings.

Once we dropped off the MR-V at home, Sheri and I braved the City Center Mall – the largest, most centrally located mall in Doha. In the summer it becomes quite popular as a source of free air conditioning, so parking is a mess – even on a weeknight. The parking situation was recently aggravated when a new construction project closed off about 500 parking spots out back – forcing everyone into the 2 story garage. We actually found a spot upstairs, near a "Qatari car wash" – aka a laborer with a bucket of sudsy water and a chamois who will wash the exterior of your car for 10 Riyals (about $3.00). After 2 weeks of driving around Doha and parking under the car port at our villa, my Accord was covered in a fine layer of dust and deserved a wash so I handed the guy a 10 Riyal bill and we headed for the door. The walk took about 3 minutes, but by the time we navigated the gridlocked parking garage we both had headaches and needed a shower. It must have been 110 degrees inside the garage at 7:00pm, all the more reason to stay at home.

We ate at a Lebanese restaurant in one of two foodcourts. Then Sheri and I multitasked, I stopped off at Cinnabon for the half-off special and Sheri found the MAC makeup store one level down. While waiting my turn to pay at Cinnabon a local woman in traditional clothes who was apparently going to place a large order motioned for me to go ahead and pay for my box of Cinnabons. After a month and a half of being cut in line, this simple gesture restored my faith in humanity.

I joined up with Sheri and we headed to the HomeStore (previous post described it as Marshalls, Room Store, and Michael’s all rolled into one). As in most stores, we handed our Cinnabon & MAC bags to the security guard in exchange for the numbered ticket we would redeem for our bag when leaving the store. It reminds me of using the locker at the water park / roller rink where you carry this orange numbered key around until it’s time to leave. At first I was actually a bit offended that they suspect you will steal something in the store, but now I’m quite pleased to hand over my bags and shop freely, without having to lug our previous purchases around the store.

As is usually the case, the beige curtains that we saw on Saturday were sold out n Monday (my fault for waiting), so we asked one of the salesman to check the warehouse – bingo, 4 panels with our name on them. As a common courtesy I shook the salesman’s hand and asked him for his name so that I could follow up with him on Wednesday. 30 minutes later as we arrived back home, the salesman called my mobile to let me know that he was going to stop by the warehouse on his way home to pick up our drapes so we could have them a day early. When was the last time a Walmart employee offered to drive across town on their own time to pick up that Microwave you wanted so badly?

Score: Humanity – 2… Callous Entitlement – 0

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